The Poo

HOLLA at my Blunt-Buddy SmAshTaSTiCaL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smash: Thanks for hollering at me. I really needed it. I'd thought that all of you would have forgotten about me by now. I never expected that me and my homer simpson slippers would be missed by anyone. But yeah, thanks for the blunts being smoked in my honor.

I have a story for you: I told you all my new years' resolution would be to drink less and smoke more. Well, I had a hell of a time making this work. My first plan was to find a Turk on the street and buy some hashish. Two weeks ago I went out on Thursday night to drink with my friends. One of them, Khristian from Wisconsin, frequently manages to find hash and he's smoked it with us a couple of times. He found a Turkish food-stand where the people sell hash, and on the way back we stopped there and I had to ask them for it. But the guy there said he didn't have anything and he didn't know where it could be found. As if I was a cop or something. Khristian was talking to the guy at the turkish food-stand next to that one and he seemed to have some hash to sell, but when I asked for 10 grams they laughed and he told me they didn't have anything and I'd have to look for some other Turkish guy who could be anywhere. I later found out that 10 grams is the limit for how much weed you can have before being arrested, so I shouldn't have asked for so much.

So the next day was Friday and I left at evening to rome the city in search of some random turksh drug-dealer. I wandered around wearing my Amsterdam hat and making eye contact with every Turk I saw. After an hour and a half a guy spotted me in a subway station and asked me in german if I was looking for something. I told him in german that I was looking for about 5 grams of hash and he told me to come with him. When he discovered I was American he started talking to me in English and he lead me out of the subway station and through a bunch of back alleys until he found a nearly deserted spot and told me to wait there for five minutes. I was all sketched out but determined to get this stuff. After at least 10 minutes he came back and told me he only had 6 grams and he could sell them for 30 Euros. But I only had 20s so I gave him 40, he handed me a bag and told me to go in the oppostie direction.
When I got back I attempted to smoke what he'd given me but didn't get high. When my friends came over to check it out they confirmed my suspicions: I had bought a bunch of rocks. 6 grams of pure minerals. No THC involved. Fucking rocks.

So a few nights later I was drinking with the germans in my kitchen and one of the Romanian kids was talking about "kiffen" which means "to smoke weed" and I took the opening to mention how I'd bought a bunch of rocks which some turkish guy told me was hash. I even showed the rocks to them. The romanian guy said it was a bad idea to just look for random drug dealers, and if I wanted he could call his friend and ask for some weed for me. Not even hash, actual smokables which he said were very good. He smoked almost every day apparently and this stuff even got him really high. I couldn't believe my luck.

It took a few days, but eventually I gave him 50 Euros and he met his friend at a party and picked up a mix of weed and hash, which he gave to me this past Friday. Before I even had a chance to smoke it, just a couple hours later, he came back with a friend of his to buy back 5 Euros worth of the weed.

And that night I rolled a bunch of it into a joint and smoked it to the face. Victory. Finally after all these months I finally found actual weed in Frankfurt. And it was delicious. Not only that, it was the MOST MOTHAFUCKING POO-TASTIC SUPER-POO I have ever smoked!!!! I shouldn't have smoked a whole joint of it. I got so high that I couldn't even move. I couldn't even sit up straight. I just lied down and listened to music and had a near out-of-body experience. I hadn't been expecting anything great, but this stuff was even better than the stuff we'd smoked in AMSTERDAM. I was seriously fucked up for a good five hours.

Later that night two friends came over to "sample" the stuff. We split a really tiny bowl between three people and were blazed out of our minds for a good two hours. I mean, whatever your definition of "super-poo" is, this stuff would probably make it seem like the worst kind of schwag. Yesterday I packed a bowl in the morning and taking a hit or two every couple hours it lasted the whole day, and by the time I went to sleep I was so fucking burnt I couldn't find the handle on my door.

Moral of the story: Good things come to those who wait. Don't buy hash from random Turks you meet in subway stations. Weed is good.

I'd smoke a blunt of this stuff but it would probably kill me. Tonight I'll smoke a spliff in honor of Autumn Leezy!!!