Dead Blog Revisted

Today I actually received an e-mail because of this very blog. Some anti-Israeli propoganda website guy actually stumbled across some POLITICAL thoughts on this blog that I guess he must have felt aligned closely enough with his website's philosophy that he requested I post a link to his site.

Normally I would have just deleted the e-mail and and moved on, but as it were I just happened to be killing time. So now I have ventured back into this cold wasteland of a blogosphere inhabited long long ago, casually stepped over a few frozen corpses and made my way to the walls of cave to scratch just one last message. The message from my close personal friend Eugene Gershin. Here it is:

Hi. My name is Eugene Gershin. Perhaps we have met online, but more probably you don't know me from Adam. I monitor blogs for SamsonBlinded, and came across your post.

I'd like to welcome you to look at Obadiah Shoher's blog. Obadiah - an anonymous Israeli politician - writes extremely controversial articles about Israel, the Middle East politics, and terrorism.
Shoher is equally critical of Jewish and Muslim myths, and advocates political rationalism instead of moralizing.
Google banned our site from the AdWords, Yahoo blocked most pages, and Amazon deleted all reviews of Obadiah's book, Samson Blinded: A Machiavellian Perspective on the Middle East Conflict.
Nevertheless, 170,000 people from 78 countries read the book.

Various Internet providers ban us periodically, but you can look up the site on search engines. The mirror www.terrorismisrael.org/blog currently works.

Perhaps you all received this e-mail and some of you have even decided to return to the ancient blog where life once dwelled. Perhaps some of you will even see this link and join Eugene in his quest to take down Israel or whatever it is he's doing. But in all likelihood, nobody at all will ever read this.

I must leave this place now. This sad and lonely blog, rotting away in cyberspace, floating in a void of nonexistence just hoping that perhaps on some distant day in some distant time, some computer-nerd/terrorist might just be searching for a keyword that will take him to one of its many cold forgotten pages. Then for a brief moment it will be alive again.

Good-bye, Blog Sky. Goodbye.

Poop, eh?

Well I went to London a week ago and five days later the terrorists attacked. I wonder if the feds would come after me if I made a joke about how I might have been involved? Best to play it safe, I suppose.

Luke, you're grounded for having Incompletes? Or is it totally unrelated? In Germany there's no such thing as an Incomplete. There are rarely even due dates for that matter. Whenever a class has a final paper, you can do it any time. During the semester, after the semester, or YEARS later. Once you do it you get credit. Simple and easy. A procrastinator's dream.

As for my e-mail address it's kemstone@gmail.com. Look forward to reading your comments.

As for the party, the 29th would be perfect. I'll be home on the 26th but without money or a driver's license or whatever the fuck else I need. I should be ready to make my triumphant return to Ewing on the 29th though. And what's the significance of this pink and blue thing?

I've got a hot date with a hot german bitch on Tuesday. If that doesn't surprise any of you, it should.

Purpose

I've been away from the Blog for too long. There's been intelligent conversation and I've been missing out on it. Oh well.

You want to know the purpose of my life? Well, I'm afraid I don't know that, and I don't think I'll ever know, nor do I believe anyone can really ever know for sure. It's something you choose for yourself, but you can change it at any moment. I used to think my purpose was to discover the Nature of Existence and then kill myself. Well, once I discovered that and tried to kill myself, I found that I was still alive, more purposeless than ever. I soon discovered that I hadn't even found the true Nature of Existence, and I'd only just developed a likely possibility. The true Nature can never be known by any living being.

Then I thought, as Trainspotter has noted, that my purpose was just to be miserable and suffer through a life of loneliness, despair, and isolation until dying alone and unhappy. But that wasn't really compatible with my philosophy on life, which is quite strong in the belief that YOU choose your own destiny and if you're suffering it's probably because you've chosen to suffer. So that COULD be the purpose of my life, but if I have any say in it, I'd rather it not be.

Now I've got another possible purpose for my life. To become the biggest Pink Floyd fan who ever lived and see them perform for the first time in 20 years at Live 8. That would be the experience of a lifetime, and I knew it. So I went to London without a ticket, lost all my money, got my folks to wire me some extra cash and then miraculously found a scalper selling tickets at an affordable price. So I DID get in and I stood nearly front row for most of Live 8 and got as close as I could get with the type of ticket I had for Pink Floyd and had the experience of a lifetime. So if tht was my purpose, it has been fulfilled.

Fulfilled because I was DETERMINED to have that experience, and with just a little bit of luck to help me along, I was able to have it. What does that say about everything else in life? What if I chose a different purpose? To meet a wonderful woman and share my life with her? Well, if I could make myself as determined to do that as I was to see Pink Floyd, what's to stop me from fulfilling that purpose? Then picking a new purpose and going for it?

The point is, don't get wrapped up in One Purpose for life. Choose your goals wisely and pursue them confidently. But in the end, it DOES all boil down to experience. And I'm not just talking WILD experiences. Everything in your life from the most intense to the most mundane make up the sum total of all your Experience and that's all your life is. Outside forces play are a very large factor in determining your life's experience, but you're not a passive bystander. Take what you get and work with it and make your life something you can say is worth living.

Now that I'm finished preaching to the choir, I'll shut up.

PMA

Running does do a lot to improve your self-esteem. I tried doing it over here but it takes more time to walk to the park to go for a jog than the time I actually spend jogging in the park. Hopefully I'll take up that habit again when I return.

Speaking of which, I return on the 26th, which is a Tuesday. I want to have a party for my return but I also need to take care of a lot of shit when I get back, such as getting a new license so I can drive legally and purchase alcohol legally. So I need to coordinate this with you and the others in the house to figure out when the best night would be. That Friday perhaps? Maybe Saturday? Is anything going on then that would prevent this from being a possibility?

Going on a date, huh? The last time I did that was............um........well, it depends on what you would call a "date". I can tell you when the last time I kissed a girl was though: 3 years and 3 months ago. But she turned out to be a lesbian and hadn't enjoyed it, so again I don't know if that counts. But maybe that will help your understanding of why I'm so pessimistic and hopeless all the time.

we may all die now

Seriously, people. I know none of you care, but Pink Floyd is getting together for the first time in 24 fucking years and I'm only a 20-minute flight away. But I can't get tickets so I'm fucked. If any of you bastards know anybody or anything with access to a Live 8 London ticket tell them I will give them all of my future children as well as my eternal soul in trade for it. But yeah, that's unlikely, so I'll probably just have to go to London and get as close to Hyde Park as possible before being arrested. We'll see.

Anyway, Luke. The Biz Ness is still not taken care of. My dad has some questions:

"He want us to send (trying to remember) $421 for rent and $600 for security to someone in Edison.
Who is the person in Edison we are paying?
What is the address of the house? So we can reference something on the check.
What was the $200 for we sent to Matt? We are thinking this should be subtracted from something."

So either call him with that info or give it to me and I'll tell him.

That is all.

Biz Niss

Luke, I've been asked to remind you that my security deposit and rent still need to be paid for penwood. My parents are waiting for you to just call them and tell them where to send the $$ so I suggest you do that as soon as you get a chance. Or you can just tell me and I'll tell them. Either way, they want to give you money and all you have to do is tell them where to send it.

Also, any new developments in the Kok-Sin Security Depost fiasco? Is he aware that my family is prepared to drag his ass through the legal system if he doesn't fork over at least a potion of that money?? I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm sure that I personally did not do $600 worth of damage to that house.

Finally, if you could pick up a pack of blunts the next time you go out, that'd be great. See you tomorrow.

Kyle vs. Kem

Thanks for sending that dope, Corey. Really took the edge off last week. Of course now I'm shaking and getting chills and panic attacks, but I suppose it was worth it.

I was thinking about going back to Kyle next year. I prefer Kem, but it's so much easier to introduce myself as Kyle. Otherwise I have to go through the whole standard conversation:
"What's your name?"
"Kem."
"Ken?"
"No, Kem. K-E-M."
"Oh. What does that mean?"
"It's my initials, and the name I use to write with."
"You're a writer?"
"I hope to be."
"Oh, well I'm gonna go talk to that guy over there. Nice to meet you, Ken."
Anyway, that always pisses me off.

This no-fear-of-rejection thing sounds good though. Don't know how I'll pull that off as rejection is my #2 biggest phobia, just below feeling guilty, and just above spiders. But with enough alcohol in me I can probably nullify all that. Plus I'm going to try to alter my perspective so that whenever I'm talking to a woman I'll be thinking of it as ME evaluating whether or not I want HER. Instead of, "I've never had a woman," it'll be, "No woman has ever had me." And it's not like I'm desperate. I'd rather have no woman at all than some random shallow bitch.
Hopefully I can maintain that attitude for more than a few minutes.

Peace out, y'all. Now I'm going to go steal someone's car and sell it for dope money.